A Normal Christians Guide

A to Z

 

History is full of fanatical Christians, including Jesus Christ.  People who struggled and sacrificed for the eternal glory of God.  This article is not about them, it's about the rest of us. Normal people; everyday Christians.  Folks who contemplate the best time to attend church.  You may be wondering how you can tell if your a normal Christian.

 

Here is a simple guide.

 

  1. The only time you say "God Bless You" is when someone sneezes or you’re in the company of church elders.

 

  1. Going to church is motivated by pending social situations, guilt, funerals, weddings, christenings, or the desire to see family and friends for short periods of time.

 

  1. If your version of tithing is adding up all the time, energy and effort you put into Christian activities, like going to church and visiting with people you really do not like for the sake of God and the Church.

 

  1. You’re polite when shutting the door on people with opposing points of view, including Jehovah's Witnesses and those people who just want a few minutes of your time.

 

  1. You participate in essential church activities, such as, softball, bake sales and choral society, providing it fits in with the rest of your social schedule.

 

  1. You smile when you see a Christian bumper sticker, but refuse to advertise the causes of Jesus Christ on your vehicle because it may clash with the bumper sticker advertising your child as an honor roll student.

 

  1. Prayers are said when you’re late for appointments and when you’re lifestyle may be altered in a negative direction.

 

  1. You quote scripture as a way to stimulate an otherwise boring conversation with people who believe in themselves more than God.

 

  1. You wonder why most Television Evangelists dress better then the congregations they preach too.

 

  1. You thank God for all of your blessings, with a few exclusions.

 

  1. You appreciate and recognize the small miracles of everyday.

 

  1. You know the 10 commandments and practice at least one half of them on any given day.

 

  1. As a courtesy, you lip sink the words to your favorite church hymns if your voice does not meet the professional standards of the rest of the congregation.

 

  1. You keep your religious jewelry inside of your shirt or blouse instead of outside of it. This prevents you as being identified as one of those people.

 

  1. You feel remorse for lying on your tax return about the actual amount of money you gave to charitable causes.  Oh and did you fail to remember the promise you made last year about giving more this year?

 

  1. You negotiate with God for favors.

 

  1. You ask God for forgiveness as a way to improve the quality of your life.

 

  1. You consider church bingo a religious experience.

 

  1. You repent only after you commit a big sin as defined by most of the Ten Commandments.

 

  1. The phrase "Jesus Loves You" is only used when you speak to people twelve years old and younger.

 

  1. You assume that people who sit in the first row of church are related to the pastor, need a favor from the pastor, or had an especially sinful Saturday Night.

 

  1. You are no longer reprimanded for fidgeting in church.

 

  1. You feel awkward when you share your hymnal with the person next to you in church.

 

  1. You tense up when the collection plate comes around, count and re-count your money before you put it in the collection plate.  Dream about taking money out of the collection plate instead of putting your money in the collection plate.

 

  1. You daydream during Sunday sermons.

 

  1. You are willing to stand up for Jesus Christ as long as your stand is non-controversial, doesn't slow down your rise to corporate or social stardom and conveniently fits into your life.

 

If you answer yes to any of the statements above, consider yourself normal.  Salvation is a gift from Jesus Christ; good deeds are not a condition of salvation.  Normal Christians try to change their world one day, one thought at a time.